Adult Things

It's an honor just to be nominated, I guess.

This week, I found out I had been nominated for the University of Minnesota’s Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching award, a huge honor to me. My version of a Grammy nomination. My day was made. For a second or two, that is. It was quickly unmade.

On its face, the nomination is a beautiful, kind gesture by one or more students. It’s an unexpected, yet powerful validation of my strange approach to my work. Someone saw the meaning behind the antics, vocal rejection of the structures that all teachers know, deep down, hurt students, and transparency in my own human struggles. Treating young people as adults more often than not prompts them to step up and do adult things, like protecting themselves and others, taking responsibility for their mistakes, and strengthening their personal and communal ethics. Other adult things include seeking ways to acknowledge and thank people you value.

Reading the second sentence of the email transformed my warm fuzzies into a closed-fist punch to the face. I’m paraphrasing to protect the poor administrative staff member who had to write this grotesquery: Only faculty with at least 75% teaching loads are eligible. In other words, not me. I, in fact, teach a 200% teaching load, just for multiple schools. My ineligibility must be made clear, lest I, for a moment, consider myself an actual member of the faculty or the university community. Any university community, apparently.

The next punch was aimed at my gut. The hapless administrator had reached out to the nominating student to inform them that I was not eligible. Not only am I unable to be considered for the award, but the administration feels compelled to tell my students that I am not a “real” teacher. A teacher nominated for the Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching award (I tell students I am an adjunct, but that’s my choice, and I still have one or two of those). I fully understand their need to be honest with the student, and the student deserves to know. I deserve nothing. I’m just a teacher who someone, at least, believes is Excellent in Undergraduate Teaching.

“Not only should you refuse to acknowledge someone’s work publicly, but you should insult them for a little extra fun” is an interesting lesson to teach my student. “You should work to build structures that minimize inequity” would be more of my approach. But what do I know? What authority do I have to say what should be taught? I’m just a teacher.

I don’t want my buddy Rage to be involved in this thing, but he insists.

Rage is yelling loudly: “Stop teaching my students shitty lessons and go back to counting money, University of Minnesota administrators.”

Adult things include not letting Rage off the leash, so he goes back in his crate. Adult things also include critical thinking, which is primarily what I teach, so here’s hoping I did a good enough job that the student sees the cruelty for what it is. Here’s hoping they don’t internalize it. Here’s hoping it doesn’t dilute the kindness that I sought to teach that student.

Adult things also include choosing where to spend money.